“Hush! Let the music play. Just close your eyes and pretend that this sound is something else. Let the violins, trumpets, cellos and clarinets lull him to sleep. Please, allow it, just for a second, to make this world perfect again, make this world more beautiful than it really is. Please be quiet, don’t say a word, let me submerge into the music of beeping pumps and pretend it is something else…”

From day one, when you walk on the 7^th floor’s corridors, you are overwhelmed with all different sounds. From children’s laughter, caused by them playing on the corridor, Captain’s consulting their cadets among each other, Corporals teasing themselves, to loosen up dense atmosphere caused by stressful work, to less pleasant sounds coming from the treatment rooms, where children, who needs to have a new needle inserted to their port, are crying, screaming, asking to make it stop. And from time to time you can hear sobbing parent, well hidden in the corner so that his child will not see him having a break down. All of that gave a unique master piece, a symphony of sorrow. When I sometimes sat outside of Szymek room, to rest a bit, and closed my eyes I felt like it was penetrating me up to my bones.

On top of that, there were those beeping pumps, standing in all the rooms. Those pumps, to which most of the cadets were connect, to take their meds. And even though they all looked the same each beep was a special one. Each beep was associated with a child, your child, therefore you listen to it, like it would be his or her heart beat. Reacted to any abnormal behavior. Fear caused by the fact that pump might malfunction was high, therefore each time you saw an error you ran to a corporal ensuring nothing wrong is happening, nothing which would harm your little one.

From the start, you are instructed what to do, when the pump is jammed. “Close the clip, mute the error beep and ask for our assistance.” Corporal said, while showing how the pump works. “Most common error is caused by either pump having a small amount of air in the tube or the meds are over. In both cases, as I said, key is to close the clip, so that blood will not float back to the tube, and ask for assistance. Otherwise we will need to clean the tube and it is not that easy.”

“What?! She is talking about the air in the tube with such a calm voice?!” I though. “They teach you in school, that air injected into your veins will kill you and she is saying like it was nothing?!”

We were freaking out each time we saw “Distal air error” text on our pump. Closing the clip immediately and almost running to the corporal saying, that something wrong is with our pump. And could not understand why they are taking this so peacefully, something even with a bit of the smile.

“No problem Mr. W. Let me just finish distributing the meds and I will come to your room.” Corporal responded with warmth and smile on her facing. It shocked me a bit that she is not seeing that as potential life threat, but just a normal, nothing to worry, error, and will come in few minutes. So, I just turned around and went back to the room.

After few weeks, we realized that it is so commonly occurring thing, not causing anything bad, that finally understood why corporals do not react with panic when we report this to them.

Unfortunately, there is one sound that makes Captains and Corporals run. I saw it twice, both cases pressed by accident. Frist time by Szymek playing with the buttons on the wall, and second me, when I leaned against the wall – life threat Alarm. It was then, when I saw them coming to the room, at least three people ran. Hoping to see him flying, hoping to help him on the way. What was a disappointment on their faces, when I told them it was just a false alarm. An accidental push, which we promised not to do again…and we kept our promise.

“Hush! It’s night again. Lights are dimmed and little ones are asleep. I can quietly walk the corridors to hear it heartbeat. Its music full of pings and beeps, distal error sounds, combine with parent’s snoring. Music no one would want to hear but me. As this it is free of cries and pain..sleep little ones tomorrow comes another hateful day.”